Shabbos: Ta’am HaChaim Devarim 5770

שבת טעם החיים דברים תש"ע
Shabbos: Ta’am HaChaim Devarim 5770

Eicha: a Time to Give, not to receive

Introduction
איכה אשא לבדי טרחכם ומשאכם וריבכם, how can I alone carry your contentiousness, your burdens, and your quarrels? (Devarim 1:12)
In this week’s parasha it is said (Devarim 1:12) eicha esa livadi tarchachem umasachem virivchem, how can I alone carry your contentiousness, your burdens, and your quarrels? The Medrash (Eicha Rabbah 1:1) notes that there are three instances in Scripture where the word eicha appears. One instance is here in Devarim. The second instance is when Yeshaya (1:21) declares eicha haysah lizonah kiryah nemanah, how the faithful city has become a harlot! The third instance is in the beginning of the Book of Eicha (1:1) which we read on Tisha BaAv, where the prophet Yirmiah laments eicha yashvah vadad, alas – she sits in solitude! The Medrash draws a distinction between these three instances of eicha. Moshe witnessed the Jewish People in their glory. Yeshaya knew the Jewish People when they were in a state of rebellion, and Yirmiah observed the people when they were in a state of degradation. This Medrash poses a number of difficulties. First, if Moshe saw the Jewish People in their glory, why did he bemoan the fact that they were contentious and quarrelsome? Second, what is the significance of the word eicha that warrants the Medrash to highlight these three time periods in Jewish history?

The difference between eich and eicha
In order to understand the significance of the word eicha, it is worthwhile to examine the meaning of the word itself. The word eicha is similar to the word eich, with one notable difference. The word eich is in the masculine form, whereas the word eicha appears in the feminine form. The reasons for this difference is beyond the scope of this essay. Nonetheless, the fact that one is in the masculine form and the other is in the feminine form is reflective of a profound insight into the conduct of the Jewish People. When Moshe wondered how he could bear the burden of the Jewish People alone, he was expressing his disappointment in the people’s inability to rise above the pettiness and struggles of one who is always needy. Thus, Moshe was bemoaning the fact that the Jewish People had everything delivered to them on a silver platter, but they could not resist quarrelling with each other and provoking HaShem to anger. Yeshaya, however, saw the Jewish People in a state of rebellion, where they had already fallen from their glory and were wallowing in the gutter. Yirmiah witnessed the Jewish People in their state of degradation, when there was apparently no more hope. Thus, while all three leaders saw the Jewish People in different states of existence, they essentially observed the people when they were on the receiving end and not on the giving end.

Being satisfied with what we have will help us avoid baseless hatred
What message is the Medrash conveying to us? Do we not know that the Jewish People sinned and this brought about the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash and the Land? The answer to this question is that we are being taught a powerful lesson in human nature. When HaShem bestows us with wealth and comforts, it behooves us to appreciate what we have and to be satisfied with our lot. While we always look to HaShem as the Source of all blessings, we cannot become weakened like one who is in constant need of fame and riches. Desiring more than what we have only leads to contentiousness and quarrels with one another. The Gemara (Yoma 9b) states explicitly that the second Bais HaMikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred, and one of the catalysts for this hatred is desiring more than what we have.
The Shabbos connection
This Shabbos is referred to as Shabbos Chazon, the Shabbos of vision. We are required to gaze inwards and contemplate the luxuries that HaShem has provided us with and to appreciate those comforts. We can then use our possessions to help others in need, thus fulfilling the verse that states (Yeshaya 1:27) Tziyon bimishpat tipadeh vishaveha bitzedakah, Zion will be redeemed through justice, and those who return to her through righteousness. When we realize that we have everything that we need in the physical realm, we will begin to crave higher levels of spirituality. HaShem will then hear our pleas to restore the glory of Yerushalayim to the days of old, with the arrival of Moshiach Tzidkeinu and the rebuilding of the Third Bais HaMikdash, speedily, in our days.
Shabbos Stories
The Talmud records that the Jewish people went into exile 2,000 years ago because they lacked love one for another. The road of return, therefore, is paved with gentle caring and compassion for each other.
I know that it is Tisha BaAv today and I am eating anyway
One of the outstanding mitzvos is “Love of others,” love for another person. The Baal Shem Tov said that inasmuch as God is abstract and in tangible, it may be difficult to develop love for Him. The royal road love to God, said the Baal Shem Tov, is Love of others. Many righteous people excelled in love of others. Perhaps most prominent in Chassidic folklore is Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, who was constantly interceding with God on behalf of His people.
For example, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak once encountered a man who was eating on Tisha B’Av. “My child,” he said, “you must have forgotten that day is Tisha B’Av.”
“No, I know it is Tisha B’Av,” the man replied.
“Ah, then you have been instructed by your doctor that you may not fast because of poor health.”
“I am perfectly healthy,” the man said.
Rabbi Levi Yitzchak raised his eyes toward heaven. “Master of the universe,” he said. “I have given this man two opportunities to exonerate himself for eating on Tisha B’Av, but he is so dedicated to truth that he rejected my offer, even at the risk of incriminating himself…”
Better to be bitten by insects now
The "Tzaddik of Stitchin" would welcome wayfarers into his home and provide them with a place to sleep, even if they were dressed in tattered clothes and covered with the dust of the road. When it was pointed out to him that they might be carrying insects that would infest his bedclothes, the tzaddik said, "The Talmud states that the dead body actually feels the pain of being worm eaten. At that time I will not be able to do anything to the insects that will be irritating me. Is it not better that I take the risk of being bitten by insects in this world, where I can at least brush the insects away, and hope that by merit of the mitzvah of hosting guests, I will be spared the misery after death?"

The Ten Thousand Fund

It started one afternoon when the Rottenbaum family sat down to lunch and they heard a tremendous crash of something heavy falling. They ran to the window, looked out onto the garden below them, and heard a rough voice call from above: "Don't stick your heads out the window or you'll be sorry!"
They closed the window and in front of their very noses saw a metal trellis fall heavily to the ground. They recognized it as one of the porch trellises of the Gutman family who lived on the floor above them. Eli Rottenbaum explained excitedly, "Srulie Gutman told me at school that his family are starting to enlarge their apartment. Today the workers came, and from now on they're sleeping in another apartment." True, the Gutmans were seen leaving with their suitcases, but they did not say to where or for how long.
Another trellis fell heavily to the ground, on the beautiful garden the Rottenbaums had so lovingly cultivated. Then the thud of heavy equipment shook the entire building, and ear-splitting drilling made everyone cover their ears. The roof shook, and the acrid smell of dust soon filled the air. The apartment building contained only a few families, and the neighbors had always gotten along well. But Mrs. Rottenbaum felt that some part of her neighborly feeling was being torn to bits, together with the clotheslines that were lying on the ground under the weight of the trellises.
"They're building, they're building!" exulted the children. But the parents furrowed their brows. The Gutmans had nine children and lived in cramped quarters; it was wonderful that they were finally enlarging their narrow living space. Everyone knew that both Mr. and Mrs. Gutman worked long hours and that making a livelihood was not easy for them. But still, couldn't they have given advance warning to their neighbors? "If we had known, we could have asked them to tell the workers to take the trellises down safely and put them near the garbage bins... we could have come to an agreement about a break in the work during afternoon rest hours...
The Rottenbaums had no midday rest, neither that day nor the next. Mr. Binyamin Rottenbaum, a teacher, really needed his afternoon rest, as his teaching hours continued late into the evening. He went upstairs and tried to talk to the workmen, but encountered total obduracy on their part... Two more days passed, two very difficult days: construction work lasted from 11 A.M. until 6 P.M., and already their decorative living-room window had cracked deeply and shattered. "Who knows how much the Gutman construction is going to cost us!" someone muttered.
That night, Binyamin Rottenbaum ran into Yankele Gutman. Yankele poured out his heart: he had made the decision to start construction at the last minute because he'd found a contractor who gave him a really good price, but the catch was that they'd have to begin immediately or the price would go up. That's why they'd left in such a rush and didn't have the chance to talk to their neighbors. He'd signed a contract with a shrewd contractor who promised to complete the work as soon as possible, maximum three months.
"Friends told me," said Yankele, "that the contractor is liable to take advantage of the fact that I don't have certification and all the proper papers yet, by taking on inexperienced workers, since I won't be able to lodge a complaint against him. But so far, everything seems to be going smoothly."
Going smoothly! Maybe for the Gutmans, but certainly not for the Rottenbaums. Binyamin bit his lip, but Yankele continued with his list of woes, mainly money problems. He looked terribly haggard and troubled, and Binyamin felt sorry for him. A few days later when the two ran into each other, Binyamin did try to talk to his neighbor and explain how the unbearable noise and dirt were affecting the other tenants. He even told him that the work was slovenly, negligent and careless ― in short, much worse than the norm. But Yankele's eyes were darting from side to side; it was clear that the man was distracted and in over his head. He told Binyamin he'd see what he could do.
This same scenario repeated itself a few more times, and Binyamin became resigned to the fact that Yankele did not seem able to deal with the situation. "That's the way it is," Binyamin understood. "Yankele is wrapped up in his own troubles and money issues with his contractor, and just can't seem to deal with this."
One evening, Binyamin was called to the neighbor who lived upstairs... "We have to roll up our sleeves and get to work," said the upstairs neighbor grimly. "We have to declare war against the chutzpah going on under our very noses. Yes, I gave Gutman the go-ahead to build, but not like this! I saw your shattered window, and I've also had some breakage. We have to file a lawsuit before this gets even more out of hand."
This tone did not suit Binyamin at all, and he cut the conversation short. Later that night, he opted to walk home from his nephew's wedding instead of taking the bus so that he could think. War? Confrontation? What kinds of words were those? He, Binyamin Rottenbaum the teacher, was he going to get involved in such shady business? All his life he had avoided gossip and slander, conflict and strife. Among his wide circle of friends and acquaintances, there was not even one that he "didn't talk to." When one of his children came home with a story of anyone being criticized for doing such-and-such, he would firmly cut off the discussion by saying, "We don't discuss such things in the Rottenbaum household..."
But, still: the racket every day, the shattered window, rest hours, drilling, rudeness. Wasn't there a limit?
But how could he continue to tell his children, "We don't discuss such things in the Rottenbaum household," if the Rottenbaum household was full of resentment and anger? Furthermore, what kind of relationship would they have with the neighbors once construction was finished and the Gutmans returned? Binyamin was not naive. He knew full well what transpired in many apartment buildings after someone started renovating and there were problems ― grievances before rabbinical courts, evacuation orders, neighbors who did not speak to one another. Even if the work continued for months, Binyamin reasoned, with the drilling and dust and whatnot, there would be many more years afterward when they would need to live in peace and harmony with the neighbors. Was it worth spoiling all that?
After all the years of working on their character traits, now they were being put to the test. It's no problem getting along with others when things are pleasant. It's only under difficult circumstances that we are really tested, and this is precisely when we must restrain ourselves, understand the other person's actions, and maintain our inner balance. As Binyamin neared home and the end of his walk, he arrived at his decision.
Later, Binyamin sat down with his wife and discussed everything with her. "But what about the monetary damage? Only ten days have gone by, and look how much this has already cost us," she said.
Binyamin had already anticipated his wife's question, and had prepared an answer. "We will take it out of the 'ten thousand'," he said.
After Binyamin's father passed away, they had received an inheritance of ten thousand dollars. Binyamin decided immediately to put the money away; they would need it in a few years for the bar mitzvah of their twin boys, and then for their daughter's wedding. His monthly salary was not enough for serious savings, and the inheritance would provide the seed money...
As time went on, the Rottenbaums were able to add several thousand dollars more to their savings, but it always retained its original code name: the "ten thousand." This was a subconscious source of peace of mind, as whenever the Rottenbaums talked about future expenses, they knew that the "ten thousand" would help them out...
And so the Rottenbaum parents talked to their older children and explained their course of action: to maintain their silence, keep the peace, and never let the Gutmans know how much they suffered. They would cover all the damage with their savings, and that was that. Binyamin took out a plastic bag with some earplugs. "These are available any time you need some peace and quiet; or if you really need to, you can go to Grandma's house to do your home work. And the garden? When this is over, we'll take from the "ten thousand" to buy new flowers."
And so it was. Binyamin made it clear to his upstairs neighbor that he would not take part in any actions against the Gutmans, and explained his rationale. Time passed. The Rottenbaum's solar water heater was ruined by the construction work and needed to be replaced; a careless worker bashed in their front door with his machinery and that too needed to be replaced. There were some very difficult moments, such as the "spritz" episode. One Friday, the workers sprayed the outside of the building with white "spritz" ― spackle material ― right through the Rottenbaums' open window! It took the entire family hours of work on Shabbat eve to scrub the stuff off the furniture. "If worst comes to worst," Binyamin reassured his wife, "we'll pay someone to remove it professionally. After all, we have the means to cover the expense."
Four thousand dollars. Yes, four thousand dollars of the money that had been set aside for bar mitzvahs and weddings was spent to cover the damages caused to the Rottenbaum family by Gutman's construction work.
And they never let on to the Gutmans. "Of course, Mrs. Gutman, it was no problem at all with the construction work. We look forward to your return as our dear neighbors when it's all over. And after it was all over ― thank God! ― the Rottenbaums organized a welcome-home celebration for the Gutmans, with cakes, signs, hugs and kisses.
After the construction was completed, the four thousand dollars that Mr. Rottenbaum had spent was returned to him in amazing ways so that, in effect, he never "lost" that money. That, too, is a wonderful story, but it is really "beside the point." (www.innernet.org)

Once In a Yovel
A wealthy wood merchant once came to Rav Chaim of Volozhin for advice, explaining that all his wealth was in danger of being lost. He had sent a huge ship laden with wood to a foreign country, but the authorities were not allowing the wood to enter the country. In fact, they were threatening to sink the ship if it didn’t leave the border of the country.

Rav Chaim reassured the man, “Don’t worry, you’ll see. The salvation of Hashem is like the blink of an eye!”

On that day, the price of wood rose dramatically, and later that day, the authorities finally allowed the merchant’s ship to enter the country.

The wealthy man returned to Rav Chaim, beaming with happiness. He said, “Rebbi, today I experienced hashgachas pratis! If the authorities hadn’t delayed me, I would have received the original price for the wood. The delay actually turned out to be beneficial; I ended up earning significantly more money because of it.”

Rav Chaim sighed, “This is the difference between a rich man and a poor man. The poor man sees the hashgachas pratis of HaKadosh Boruch Hu every day. The rich man sees hashgacha only once every few years.” (Ukarasa LaShabbos Oneg)

Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer's Sad Goodbye
R' Shneur Kotler, the Rosh Yeshiva of Lakewood, escaped Europe and managed to survived the Holocaust after experiencing great miracles. Eventually, he arrived in Eretz Yisrael, joining his grandfather R' Isser Zalman Meltzer with whom he shared a very close relationship. Once he was in Eretz Yisrael, news reached him that his kallah who he was engaged to before the war was still alive. However, she was unable to join him in Eretz Yisrael so R' Shneur made plans to travel to her to finally get married.
On the day of his departure R' Shneur went to his grandfather's house to part from him. R' Isser Zalman expressed his great joy on his grandson's upcoming marriage and began accompanying him down the stairs. Surprisingly, after descending only two steps from his second floor apartment he turned around and went home. Everybody present was shocked and puzzled by his behavior. Was this a fitting way for R' Isser Zalman to part from his dear grandson who he would probably never see again?
One of his students dared to ask him why he had not accompanied his grandson all the way down the stairs. R' Isser Zalman said, "As I was walking down the steps, I saw a vision of the thousands of Yidden who did not merit living long enough to marry. I returned home to join in their pain." (Source: Stories My Grandfather Told Me) (www.Revach.net)


Shabbos: Ta’am HaChaim Devarim 5770
Have a wonderful and delightful Shabbos
Prepared by Rabbi Binyomin Adler.
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